Rolling along, slowly but surely

Today, the contract was sent to S&P. My coordinator was kind enough to make a couple changes she already knew I wanted, although she of course has to let them know what the "template" contract said. I'm not really sure if I will get the contract early next week or not because my PIP's are going on vacation this weekend. I really hope they have time to look it over before they leave so I can look it over. I think it would be nicer if we got it at the same time, thats what happened with my last journey but whatever, I'll wait.
I'm worried that I will have to make several changes to it though but hopefully they won't mind much and will understand.

I also got a new idea about how to get into working with IARC as an employee! Since my coordinator is the owner's daughter and I've talked to the owner several times about this and have been told I have the job I just need to work onsite, I thought I'd try his daughter. LOL She is super nice, understanding and was very open to my idea and also knew that it would be a great addition to the agency. So...........she told me to write up my proposal of what I would be doing, work I could alleviate from the coordinators, how to manage time, how many hours etc and send it to her. Of course, I have no problem logging into something and clocking my time, but some of what I'm proposing won't necessarily "show" results so someone would have to contact the same people I'm supposed to be contacting just to kind of check up on me. Anyway, I'm really hoping and praying that this is it! It's a passion of mine and I know I can do it and do an excellent job at it. It would be a dream come true for me!!!! (Not to mention we could REALLY use this income right now but that only prompted me to find another way to work on the owner about this LOL)

It's not much, yet it's a lot!

I heard back from the coordinator Monday afternoon. I thought for sure she would have emailed or called right away Monday but it was as usual, late in the afternoon. I was trying not to think about and keeping myself busy to keep my mind off of it all day even though I didn't realize it at the time. Anyway, in the email she said that she had just gotten off the phone with S and she was really excited! Apparently S&P felt a good connection with us right away and they very much wanted to work with us!
They are drawing up the contract right now to send to S&P first and that should be Mon. next week and I will get it the following week. This is a pretty scary time for me though because my last match through IARC fell through because of the contract. IARC has very specific wording for certain things and they like their fees to remain about the same and I already know from my first journey what will HAVE to be changed right away. I know almost exactly what I want this time around that I feel is very fair and just for an experienced 3rd time surrogate, and one who hasn't had a c-section nor will agree to one just because. My fees are higher than the first time I was with IARC but they are all nearly the same as my 2nd time. I don't know, I guess we'll just see what happens.
Thank God Ansil is much more involved this time! I really like that he is so we can discuss everything and it's not just me talking and him ignoring me. Hopefully he will actually start his own blog! I would really like to read exactly what he's thinking no matter what it is.

Captain, the ship has landed!

I'm not a captain, I don't have a ship and I'm not going nor have I been sailing or on a cruise. Well, I did take this cruise once when I was 15 but thats neither here nor there.
Anwayyyyyyyyyyy, I've made a decision about S&P, the PIP's that I've been blabbering on about recently. Maybe you'll think it's a good decision, maybe you won't but it's MY decision.

I've decided......
.
.
.
(enough of that crap already)
YES! I wrote the coordinator an email this afternoon and said that if they are still willing and wanting to work with me, I'll do it. And of course I apologized for taking my sweet sweet time in making the decision. Now we'll see what happens from here I guess. For all I know they don't want to work with me anymore even.

Still lost and confused

I know the title probably describes me 99.9% of the time but this is ONLY concerning surrogacy. LOL
Anyway, this week I would have had a chance to speak to the Potential IM one on one if I had checked my email earlier than I did. Unfortunately I didn't but I don't know that it would have helped much.
Its not them at all, they are a wonderful couple and I have no doubts that if I choose them the journey will be fine. Its just, how long will that journey last, thats holding me back. And I feel horrible, really horrible.
Its been over a week now and I'm still lost. I don't even know what to say to the agency coordinator anymore. I told her my concerns and what my biggest hold up is and I know she kind of understands but I don't think she REALLY gets it.
Can't someone just tell me what to do??????