I'm so undecided!

I received an email today that they had a possible match for me. The couple is only a couple hours away from me, they have 3 kids through IVF and 3 frozen embryos. They want to give the embryos a chance at life but if it doesn't work they will not be moving forward with a fresh cycle.
This couple worries me for a couple reasons. First, they want to transfer 2 embryos. Second, its basically a one time deal because they only have 3 embryos and since they are frozen they will need to be thawed and the success rate of that is not the best. And third, to be honest, because the PIF is a doctor. Yea, that may sound tacky but they say doctors make the worst patients and I do NOT want to be over analyzed or have my doctors orders/opinions/suggestions scrutinized.
I could deal with most of my worries but I really REALLY don't want to go through another multiples pregnancy. I was so utterly miserable with the last set and I was soooo lucky to have a very uneventful vaginal delivery, I just don't think my luck will hold up once again and I'm absolutely terrified of a c-section.
Ansil thinks that we should at least talk with the couple before ruling anything out. I know in my head that is the right thing to do but I just don't want to. Maybe its because I'm not in the best frame of mind today or my emotions are running amok without me realizing it but I really want to write back and say no, I don't want to talk with them. :( And how terribly rude of me too!
Ansil also doesn't really have much of an opinion of them at this point other than to say give it a try and talk with them.
I guess thats what we will do but right now I'm really not feeling it and it sucks!

Not much going on

My profile has been sent out a few times and I personally haven't heard anything other than "nobody is ready for a phone conference yet" so I'm not entirely sure what that means. I asked if there was anything in my profile I needed to change or reword or take out and was told that it all looks great. I am getting the feeling though that theres something in there thats turning people off and it might be because of what I wrote in my "Dear Parents" letter. I was kinda frank about the issues with my last journey. I don't think it was bad per se but I can see how it could be construed as such because, well, it was pretty bad going through it. I am quite specific with certain things that I want and don't want this time around and although I would love to just say "yeah I'll do whatever you want" to match quickly, I really really really don't want to change what I know I need. My entire family will suffer for it, I know, I've seen it happen already. I know hubby is wanting things to move a bit quicker too but its just not and theres not a whole lot I can do about it right now. I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to be pregnant over my birthday again as it will be my 30th next year but it looks like I definitely will be now. I wish hubby would have agreed to this sooner so I could have been matching much much earlier than now. Ah well, can't change anything now!
So, theres an update albeit not much of one right now. Keep your fingers crossed that I have a much better one in the near NEAR future!

Discouraged a bit

Well, there is still no response from the German couple and I'm starting to think its because they aren't interested in me. They did send my profile to another local couple, well they are in MN although I don't know where so they are waiting on a response from them as well. I do hope that I hear something come Monday. I am feeling a bit discouraged. I know it can sometimes take a while to find the right couple and I know I'm a pretty ideal candidate considering this is my 3rd journey but I do have some pretty specific parameters that the couples need to agree to. Things that I will not compromise on. I've learned a lot through my first 2 journies and I've sworn I will not forget those lessons or let a great couple talk me out of what I feel I need.
I realize that you can't always prepare for every situation but I want to be covered in case the same things arise that have in the past.
I suppose this might be a hard selling point to some but really I'm not asking anything way out of the norm and if the couples truly care about ME and my family, they will understand and gladly accept things as they are.
Keep your fingers crossed for me, I'm really in need of some good news soon!

Biting nails!

Well, I just heard that my profile has been sent to a German couple who speak very good English! I'm so nervous and so excited I can't put it into words!!! This is really happening again and I can't believe it. I didn't think my wonderful husband would ever allow me to but he has and things are moving along nice and smooth. Wish us luck that this first couple will be THE couple and it will be another amazing match!

Its official!

I spoke with the psychologist yesterday and he confirmed that he had already sent the agency his preliminary report that we passed and were good to move forward but because he had a couple questions about some of our answers to the crazy tests he hadn't sent his full report yet. After speaking with him and clearing everything up he said he would send the full report right away so we should be well on our way to matching now. I haven't heard from the agency but am sending an email today to inquire. I also realized earlier this week that I had forgotten to send my insurance information and booklet to the agency so I spent a good 3 hours scanning, saving and emailing all that stuff over. I need to check and make sure she got it as well.
I really wish I had more news right now, like they have a couple of profiles for us to check out but hopefully that will come very soon! I'm ready to move on and start shooting up!!!!
Fingers crossed that we are able to match pretty quickly because I am going to be pretty picky this time around. There are certain things that I just simply will not agree to this time around after having BTDT!

Crazy is as crazy does

Well, it looks so far like we've passed the crazy tests once again! Got them all fooled good! LOL J/K
Obviously, we've now had our appointment with the psychologist, finished the MMPI2 tests and another kind of test. We were a little late in making the appt, well ok a lot late but really it wasn't our fault. First off, Ryssa got home a lot later than normal on the bus and we still had to take them to my sister's and then leave down. By that time we have about 30 mins to make a 50+ min drive and then about 1/4 of the way there we hit road construction and we went from 70mph to 55mph the rest of the way there. Yea, we were late. LOL But thankfully the psychologist was kind enough to wait for us to get there and still was very pleasant to talk with.
We talked about our past journies, the good and the bad, and how they have changed our thoughts and views now.
When it was time to go he told us that from everything we'd said he didn't see that he would have any problems giving us the go-ahead to do it again! Of course he still had to score and look over the tests we had to take but he didn't forsee there being any problems with that. We will have to wait until next week I'm assuming before IARC gets the "clearance" they need from him but I have a good feeling about this!
Small but BIG update this time. Maybe next time I'll have an even better update so stay tuned....

Flying through so far

Well, the same day I returned the ROI to my local clinic/hospital they faxed my info over. Mayo on the other hand is being more difficult. They faxed and said they couldn't fax the records they would need the full address to snail mail them. :( So yea thats going to take a bit longer than I had wanted but thats ok. I also found out that I don't need to take the MMPI2 test again which is a big relief for me. Not that I was afraid I wouldn't "pass" it, there is no right or wrong to the test its just a way to find where your strengths and weaknesses are. I still have to have a psychological evaluation along with my husband but thats ok too. Hopefully that will get done in a couple of weeks. Then the ONLY thing left for me to do is scan my insurance booklet and cards and send those to Keely. From there I should be able to be matched and get this show on the road.
There is one thing I'm quite sad about though. V, my IM from my first journey, contacted me yesterday and still really really wants another journey but K just isn't going for it. I would absolutely LOVE to help them again!! Even if its 5 years from now, I will help them as long as I'm capable of doing so.
So thats my small update thus far!